Infinite Monkey Theorem. At Work.

Queer Lawyeresses Dinner

Tonight was the big gay lawyer big gay dinner.  Folks were nice and the speaker was great.  I definitely think that going to those events would be more fun if I weren't unemployed.  But quite a few folks said that it was great that I was starting my own practice.  Yaaay.

Saw some folks I hadn't seen in a while and won't see until the next big gay lawyer event (probably the Christmas party).  There were plenty of gay lawyers and at one point I wondered "Where are all these people at our normal events."  But then I remembered that I'd been skipping some because, inevitably, at these events people are like "So- where are you?"  Which is lawyeress for "What firm do you work at?"  And it is always bad to say "I work at yo' mamma's firm.  With her firm legs!!!"  So, instead, I just don't go.  Liquor and unemployment leads to poor decision-making.  But I got a wild hair this week and managed to get talked into going.  (Brian basically explained that some of my favorite folks were going to be there).

And I have to admit, it was good to see folks.  I might have made a mistake when a lawyer brought a younger relative who was aspiring to be a lawyer one day and I said "Oh, Lord, stop her before it is too late!"  I meant it as a joke but it might have sounded too real.  Oops.

Other than that the night was probably a win.  I worked a great shirt-tie combo and didn't spill anything.

Surrendering

So far, law school is a fail.  Yeah yeah.  It's not me, it's the economy.  We haven't been in a similar situation in forever.

I entered the work force, fresh out of college and then 9/11 happened and I got laid off.  I went back to work for the job I had when I was in high school.  So that was pretty humbling.  Then I picked up another job which was copy editor/analyst/secretary/whatever was needed.  It was cool.  They gave me good bonuses.  Then my boss told me to blow him and things sort of went down hill.

So then I landed in another job and did really well in it.  Despite being a top performer, I wasn't paid all that well and decided to go to law school for a couple of reasons.  Mainly because I perceived attorneys to be highly desired (my mistake) by employers and because it would provide a much needed intellectual challenge.

I had a pretty shitty first year and a great second and third year.  But I'm not in the top third and not in the top half.  And I graduated four months before the crash.  The "sure thing" job I had entered into a hiring freeze.  Though they have a relatively quick attrition rate over there, the unsecure market has kept many attorneys from leaving.  I got an e-mail from a buddy of mine over there and it confirmed that they are in a "deep hiring freeze" and not just a light frost as I had hoped.

I have been turned down for more work than I care to think.  I don't want to open my own practice for a couple of reasons: I don't want the responsibility and I want to learn under someone else's wing.

But the credit card bills are piling up and my old boss at Trader Joe's was like "What's going on?"  And I was like "Nothing.  Absolutely nothing in this job market."  He told me he'd love to have me back.  And what sensible attorney can refuse that?

Initially, I think I was a little saddened at the prospect of returning to work at the place I worked before I had my JD.  Now I have a JD and I'll be working at the place I worked at before I had it.  Do you see a theme?

So yeah.  9/11 and 2008 crash.  They could not be more poorly timed in terms of me trying to get my life on track.  And I know that the market isn't out to get me (at least, I'm telling myself that).  Going back to work at Trader Joe's is the right thing to do: it'll get me some cash and give a little more structure to a life filled with reading novels and walking the dog and watching TV.  That's got to be helpful.

So I'm surrendering.  In a good way?  That's what I'm telling myself.  I'll still apply to jobs and try to get my legal career started.  But it does feel like a white flag is waving somewhere in my life.  And I hate that feeling.

Rejection Protection

I should have an interview every week.  Every week, I tell you!  If nothing more than for when the last week's rejection letter comes in, I already have a decision pending with another firm/office!  One of the guys who interviewed me for the government job e-mailed me today to let me know it didn't happen.  He said he enjoyed the interview but that they had lots of outstanding candidates.  I really wish I could divine what didn't click.  I'm not willing to say "GAY!" but sometimes I do wonder with jobs whether there is a lavender ceiling.  I try not to worry about it too much and, well, I wouldn't want to work there if they didn't want to hire a 'mo.  Though, really, it could have been the fact that I don't have stellar academic credentials.  Hard to say.  And ultimately irrelevant.

So we're down to one and no interviews lined up for this week.  I need to find an interview this week quick!

Interview. Enteryou. I am ignorant as to this world.

I've always come on a little strong.  When I want something I do my best to get it.  Once when courting a young man in college, I wrote him love notes and sent him a basketful of sweets to his office.  He stated that it was a little intense and ran far away two weeks later never to be heard from again.

So maybe I'm too direct.  Maybe I shouldn't say what I'm really thinking.  But I can't help but feel that this surely has to be an asset, right?  This type of attitude is rewarded in scientists, explorers, entrepreneurs and other individual-based pursuits.  But I'm not sure it is rewarded in employees.  I have a policy that I don't try to be anyone other than who I am in interviews because it's such a direct way to learn whether or not I'll fit in with the organization.  If they hire a version of me that isn't how I'm going to behave once I've been working there for a while, then I'm just setting myself up for trouble later.

I'm not giving up hope yet.  I just really want to be a prosecutor and there's not a lot of openings right now, I guess.  When do you decide to pursue something other than your desire because prosecution positions are so limited?

Notes from Group Mentoring

All new attorneys are required to be mentored under the GA State Bar rules.  Those who are employed typically get their mentoring game together with another, more senior attorney at their office.  For those of us who are seeking employment, rather than postpone the mentoring requirement, the GA Bar requires us to go to "Group Mentoring."

Group mentoring occurs in a group with a panel of lawyers (75% of whom are self-employed).  Muffins and coffee are involved and so is a $95.00 fee for the service  (the muffins are good but they're not that good). 

I would say about 100+ people were there and we got to listen to the panel really push for us to start our own practices.  When asked what money one would use to pay for things like, I dunno, malpractice insurance.  The panel glibly suggested we get a small business loan.  They were not kidding.  The bright spot was the presentation on resources the State Bar offers for starting your own firm.  The woman who presented it should be put in charge of everything down there as far as I am concerned.

Despite the somewhat depressing topics, luckily for me, I sat down beside a co-conspirator and we generated a list of potential options for unemployed attorneys seeking work and money to pay for their student loans.  We also had doodle art "draw offs" but I'm not going to put those up on here.  The list follows:

Work for Free (this one was suggested by the panel)
Retail Lady
Teacher
Organic Farmer/Farmhand
Bartender
Pyramid Scheme Participant
Cirque du Soliel Staffer
Graduate Student
Graphic Illustrator (Stick Figure Specialist)
Personal Injury Victim
Research Subject
Egg Donor (sorry boys)
Gestational Surrogate (sorry boys)
Envelope Stuffer
Bitter Blogger w/Ad Space (we have a winner!)